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Check Mate

Check Mate 





I've had these photos in my camera for a little minute so I figured I'd get them up on the blog.



After living in NYC for a few years I grew accustomed to the all black way of life. Give me a good black turtle neck paired with a pair of black high waisted jeans...classic. It can always be dressed up and accessorized. 

Here I paired it with a mustard leather jacket and black lace up booties and... BOOM! Cute little fit for the evening.  

 




Jacket: SheIn
Jeans: Forever21
Booties: Ego 



XOXO, Z! 

I'm Back and I'm Better...



Heyyyyy!!!!! Oh man how i've missed blogging! 
I know, it's been A MINUTE!


I came across this quote on Instagram not too long ago and it couldn't have been more fitting of my life!
I can't believe the last time I posted was over a year ago on my 2nd year anniversary of living in NYC.. Well, I can say my life has done a complete 180 since writing that post. 
2017/2018 were the most challenging years of my life.


2017 Broke Me
That's putting it lightly. It's still tough to put myself back in that head space of 2017. Losing my best friend and my Brother is something that I deal with every. single. day. The pain never goes away.

2018 Opened My Eyes
2018 placed a lot into perspective for me. It was a year of complete transition and reflection. I left New York to be much closer to my family. That was a TOUGH decision for me to make because I didn't want to because of my career, and all I had accomplished just by being in NY. I was in the best city and company that anyone with a career in corporate fashion could be.... but for my mental and overall well-being I had to.
Returning to NY after my brothers death I developed severe anxiety and started to suffer from mild depression. I wouldn't leave my apartment unless it was for work. I had a panic attack that landed me in the emergency room...by myself. It was at that moment I knew I had to do what was really best for me. 
And God, as always looked out for the kid. My transition back closer to home couldn't have worked out any better than it did. I was able to land a job in my career field right before my lease was up in the city so it was all perfect timing. 
After moving my biggest goal was to get myself into some sort of therapy. I had to. Now, unfortunately in the black community therapy isn't a topic that is talked about too often. We're often taught to "pray it away" or "talk to God about it". . Not saying there is anything wrong with that but I knew I needed something more than that.... which all leads back to me getting back into blogging. My therapist recommended using my blog as an outlet. It's something I've always enjoyed doing but after everything that happened I lost all interest in everything I once loved. She advised me that it would be a great way to get back into the groove of finding Zenese again. 

SO! Here I am. . . I'm excited to get back into it and bring new and different content to this blog. Unlike before I don't want to solely focus on just fashion and beauty. I'm bringing my lifestyle into ZeneseAshley and I can't wait to bring you guys along and share it all with you.

So here's to 2019....... I'm BACK! 






As always, thanks for the love and support! Xoxo, Z! 












Two Year New Yorker-versary

"Always remember why you started" 



Year TWO. A struggle, to say the least. . but I made it another year in this crazy city. If any of you have ever been to NYC, you know this is truly a hustle and bustle city. So with that I've developed a love/hate relationship with this place. New York on it's own isn't easy but add on the year I've had. . . It's exhausted me and I don't know if this is the city for me anymore?

I'm going to be as transparent and real as I can be about the journey this second year has been.... 

It's absolutely mind blowing how quickly things in your life can change. This exact time last year I was ecstatic about making it through my first year in NYC all by myself. This year, I've been faced with one of THE hardest year of my life. The past 7 months have been the most devastating, heartbreaking months I've ever endured and it has left me second guessing, and re-evaluating everything that is important to me. 

6 months ago I posted about losing my best friend in February. I mentioned that losing her taught me to make sure that you truly cherish every moment with the ones you love. I never imagined that just a few short months, 4 to be exact, those words would have an even heavier meaning when I lost a a huge part of myself. .  My older brother

I'm not quite ready or think I'll ever be strong enough to really go in depth about that on my blog. To put it simply, I completely lost myself after the death of my brother. I lost all motivation for any and everything I had going on in NYC. I was ready to completely pack it all up, go home and never come back. I honestly didn't think I was going to make it to a second "New Yorkerversary". 

Making the decision to stay and continue to build my career here, away from everyone and everything I love or be closer to my family at a time when I need them the most without having the feeling of I gave up on my dreams? Questions I'm asking myself daily, and praying God will send me the answers to.

I don't quite know where the strength to come back came from, it's still a day to day process. While I have no idea what the future holds or how much longer I'll remain in this city. . . . I will say I'm proud for making it this far and conquering this city in the way that I have the past two years. 




As always, thanks for stopping by, as well as all the love & support! Xoxo, Z! 

Travel With Z: London + Paris!


I am still on a complete high from my recent trip overseas to London and Paris! Both cities have been on my travel bucket list for quite some time now so making the trip was really like a dream come true.

As you may learn, traveling is basically one of my hobbies. I am literally always on the go, my frequent flyer miles are pretty impressive! LOL. . But at the least I make it a mission to travel to at least one place where I have never been, every year.  

This trip started out as me just wanting to take myself to Paris for my 25th birthday. After working with a travel agent and being advised that unfortunately January wasn't the ideal time to explore Paris since it's the middle of winter, we set our sites on an early spring time trip. . Because, what's better than Paris in the Spring time!?  . . In the the midst of planning London was placed on the itinerary! Why not just take advantage of their close proximity and visit both! Sooo....

First stop was London, United Kingdom!


In a nutshell, I absolutely LOVED London! Our hotel was located literally right in the middle of Central London. The London Eye was right behind our hotel, no exaggeration. We stepped out the back door of our hotel and we were on the pier of the London Eye. While Big Ben and the House of Parliament was right across the street. We stayed at the London Marriott County Hall Hotel.




Getting around London was super easy. Riding the big double- decker red city buses and the "Underground Tube" was simple. I feel like once you master the NYC subway, you can navigate any subway system in the world. In all honesty London felt so much like New York it was unreal.


    

One particular area of London, called Brixton was literally a clone of Harlem. 


While in London we made sure to visit all of the main tourist attractions such as of course the London Eye, Buckingham Palace, Big Ben as well as popular areas like Covent Garden, Borough Market. We also absolutely had to try out the London Ice Bar. Yes, a bar made of completely ice! 







Icebar London was one of the coolest experiences I've ever had. . . Ever



After 4 days in London it was time to make our way to Paris, France!
London and Paris are only a train ride away from one another. We took the EuroStar when is pretty much the easiest way to get from London, United Kingdom to France in about 2 hours.


Paris is just as gorgeous I have always imagined it to be! Absolutely breathtaking. The entire time being there I just truly couldn't believe I was actually there. The first day we literally dropped our bags at the hotel and hit the ground running. We purchased the Paris Pass which was a 3 day pass that allotted us unlimited rides for transportation, free entry and skip line privileges to tons of museums as well as access to different attractions in the city.





 

I will say as much prepping as I did for the trip, the one thing I should have focused on was learning a bit more French. The only words I really did know were the basic terms of please, thank you, water and restroom. That was the one thing about Paris that was a bit difficult; the language barrier. I now know what it feels like to try and say or explain something to someone and they look at you completely confused and not able to understand you.


Simple things like ordering food (more specifically breakfast) was a bit of a challenge most mornings. However, that's what traveling is all about. Learning and being submerged in different cultures.
We ate croissants every day we were in Paris and I have no complaints. They were AH-MAZING!



Paris is definitely a sight-seeing city so every day was filled with lots of walking and just enjoying the scenery. The entire city is literally VIEWS





We stopped by the famous Louvre Museum to one, take pics with the pyramids, but to also see the world famous Monna Lisa painting in person! Which in reality is A LOT smaller than I imagined it to be. 






Palace of Versailles 



Of course I had to make a stop at the original Louboutin store and add a new pair to the collection :)


While in Paris we had to experience a true burlesque show at the one and only Moulin Rouge! What's being in Paris without experiencing this. It was such a great experience! We weren't allowed to take any photos or video of the actual show seeing as during some of the performance the women are topless; in a tasteful and theatrical way (it is France). 




Another place we absolutely had to visit while in Paris was of course, DISNEYLAND! . . . It doesn't get much better than Disneyland in Paris! On our last full day in Paris we decided to have a fun day at Disneyland. The park is about a 45 minute train ride outside of the actual city and it contains a lot of the same attractions as the other Disney Parks, such as the infamous Tea Cups and "Its a Small World". 






All in all this trip was one absolutely one for the books! I couldn't have had a better time in both London & Paris. This was truly a trip of a lifetime. 


I am forever grateful to be able to travel and experience everything this world has to offer. Visiting these two countries where the culture and lifestyle is completely different from that of American culture was truly a learning experience. These are definitely two cities I will for sure visit again! 


Where to next!?!. . . .


As always thanks so much for stopping by, as well as all of the love and support! Xoxo, Z! 






















LifeTalk | What Losing My Best Friend Has Taught Me About Friendship & Life

Hi Beauties! This post is a little different from anything I've ever done here. . For my own personal reasons I needed to get my thoughts down and out of my head. For those that know me personally know I'm not one to really express my feelings too much. It's the Capricorn in me. I very rarely open up, and when I do it's to very few people. . but my blog is somewhat therapeutic for me because it allows me to express myself through everything that I love and Jayona was one of my blog's biggest supporters. So this post is dedicated to her, my sister



February 16, 2017

My life changed forever. 


At 25 years old this is truly the first time I've had to deal with losing someone so close to me. I didn't and honestly, I still don't know how to quite handle this. It's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her or have the urge to pick up the phone and FaceTime her. FaceTime was our thing. With me living so far away in New York that was our way of always communicating with each other atleast once a week because she already knew how much I hate texting lol. . So with that said, the fact that today marks a month since her passing and I can't make that call it's starting to hit me and it hurts.


8 years ago Jayona came into my life full force, at the perfect timing and I made sure to hold onto her. I have always been very particular about the people and the energy that I keep around me. The moment our friendship begin to grow I knew she was a real one. Almost instantly she became a part of the Pendergrass family. She was at my house so much she basically became my parents' second daughter. Every birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, random party I threw, road trip - you name it she was there.

She was my voice of reason whenever I needed her. It was like she always knew exactly what to say.  Our friendship was one where we gave it to each other straight. No sugar coating anything. Tell it like it is, for what it is type of relationship and that's what we appreciated most about each other.




January 10th, my 25th birthday was the last time I physically saw my sister and was able to give her a hug and tell her I love her. What I would do to just have one last conversation with her. I would just want to let her know how much I love and appreciate her being the friend and sister she was in my life.


I firmly believe that with every event that happens in your life, whether good or bad, there's a lesson within it. What this unfortunate event has taught me is to cherish each and every moment you have with the ones you love and care about because you honestly never know when it will be the last time you will see or speak with them. Specifically, myself. Living so far away from my family and friends, this has become a priority to me now. We tend to allow ourselves to get caught up in the busy-ness of our own day-to- day lives, it can become hard to make sure you're 'keeping in touch' with everyone. I honestly believe this was God's way of completely  s l o w i n g m e d o w n.  Slowing me down to appreciate every moment that I have on this earth.  Luckily, I've been blessed with "low-maintenance" friends. Which means we don't have to talk every single day to maintain our friendship. As you get older it becomes hard to even do that. I've always had the "pick right up where we left off" friendships. However, I have made more of an effort to do a "check up" on the ones I love. Whether its just sending a random "I love you girls" in the group chat or a random "I just needed to hear your voice" call to my brother. I want to always make sure that everyone in my life knows how important they are to me.



  


  


  


    

     

I have so many memories over the years with Jayona, its hard to grasp the fact that she isn't here to make anymore with me. Yet, her amazing spirit and every moment we shared will stay with me forever. She was such a joy to anyone she ever came in contact with. You couldn't help but love her!

      


With losing one sister, it has without a doubt brought me closer to my other sisters. If it was't for these ladies the last month would have been 10 times harder than it already has been. The only way we're making it through this is together. We've lost a huge piece of our puzzle, so sticking together through it is the only way. So I thank all my sisters for being the strong women you all are. I love you all.



In loving memory of my best friend, my sister, Jayona - I love you forever & always!